Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do...give advice to my children
A couple of weeks ago Kyle, my daughter, called to ask what should she do to get the smell of burnt popcorn out of her home. Her children, not paying attention, had set the microwave a few minutes longer than was necessary; she said the scent hit her the minute she opened the door. "Put a cup of vinegar on the stove on low heat and let it simmer. The house will smell like vinegar for a few minutes but eventually the vinegar smell, and the burnt popcorn smell, will dissipate" was my reply. Jason, my son, called today to ask how to tie dye things...he said, "I remember you dying things a long time ago but I don't remember what to do." My reply, "pick your colors in advance so you don't waste the dye, twist the item in different directions to give the sun splattered look, and use rubber bands to hold the material in place...then dip and let the dye seep into the material, but remember to wash the tie dyed object several times before you wash it with anything else because the dye will bleed." I had given advice to both of my children...when it hit me, who are they going to call when I'm not here? I learned everything I know from my Grandmother but life goes by so quickly that we forget to share...so this will be my sharing blog for my children, and Grandchildren...just in case.
LOVE...there are so many types of love there aren't enough pages on this blog to describe them; there's the love of a friend, of a parent, of a sibling, of a family member, of a grandparent, of a child, of an animal, of a job, of a car....all of them are different and all touch you in different ways. If you're lucky, you will experience the love from all of these things. I would say your three true loves will be the love you have for your parents, your spouse and your children.
Your parent's love should be unconditional but if it isn't, as was in my case, then find someone who can be a parental figure to you. Find someone older, a mentor, someone to love you...and in return you will find someone to love. There's always someone out there... willing to teach, to hug, to share advice... someone who is as lonely as you are. They will give willingly. Fortunately, both of you have a Mom and a Dad (Don) who love you for you; you're lucky. A parent's love can make or break you if you allow it to do so. Jason and Kyle, you are loved.
You will fall in love over and over again...and your heart will be broken over and over again...until you find the one person who can manage to be in the same room with you for an extended period of time and not walk away. My children, that's the trick...the magic of it all. Your heart is going to beat rapidly, so much so that you'll think it's going to jump out of your chest, many times, when you meet someone. You're going to kiss someone, feel their arms around you, and think this is the ONE! But it's not all about who you love...it's about who loves you...and if they stay...and if you can't push them away...and if there's chemistry...then that just might be the winning combination. Find someone who loves you as much as you love you. If the person you're with doesn't feel that you are the most spectacular human on earth...then why would you want to waste your time? "So, they think you're mediocre" and you're going to get dressed and go out to dinner and spend an evening with this person? I don't think so. Wait until you find that someone who thinks, "the only reason I am on this earth is to share my time with you...to make you happy." When you find that person...you will know love...and when you find it you will realize the 'past' loves of your life really weren't loves at all. I hope both of you find that someone.
When you have children you will know the true meaning of love...love at its best...love at its purest...love in the most powerful way. Even if I try... I cannot put into words the love that comes from holding your own child; knowing that this child, the one who is so tiny and vulnerable...and most often quite ugly at birth...relies on you for sustanance in order to survive. When you hold your child for the first time...the world suddenly stops...and God lets you stand still for a few moments; because God knows...you won't have the pleasure of standing still for many years to come.
That child will rely on you to teach him, or her, to walk...talk...read...dance...laugh...hit a baseball...swim...tie their shoes...drink from a cup...I mean come on.....it's a daunting task to say the least. YOU are their today AND their tomorrow and once that child is placed in your arms there's not much you can do except to accept the task. Having a child is the definition of love.
However, I want you both to know, a child doesn't have to be born from you to be your child...please remember this. You two aren't Don's biological children...but you are definitely his. He has loved you, and nurtured you, and provided for you, for over thirty years and yes...you are his children. As we grow older I ask him on occasion, "what would you do if I died...what would you do about Kyle and Jason?" He hates when I ask that question! "Robin, those kids are as much mine as they are yours," he always replys...of course he adds in the "are you insane...you've lost your mind," comments. So if you have your own (as Jason did), or if you have been blessed with someone elses (as Kyle has been), just remember that there is nothing more important in this short life, that we live, than to know you can make a difference in a child's life....so make it count!
LOVE...there are so many types of love there aren't enough pages on this blog to describe them; there's the love of a friend, of a parent, of a sibling, of a family member, of a grandparent, of a child, of an animal, of a job, of a car....all of them are different and all touch you in different ways. If you're lucky, you will experience the love from all of these things. I would say your three true loves will be the love you have for your parents, your spouse and your children.
Your parent's love should be unconditional but if it isn't, as was in my case, then find someone who can be a parental figure to you. Find someone older, a mentor, someone to love you...and in return you will find someone to love. There's always someone out there... willing to teach, to hug, to share advice... someone who is as lonely as you are. They will give willingly. Fortunately, both of you have a Mom and a Dad (Don) who love you for you; you're lucky. A parent's love can make or break you if you allow it to do so. Jason and Kyle, you are loved.
You will fall in love over and over again...and your heart will be broken over and over again...until you find the one person who can manage to be in the same room with you for an extended period of time and not walk away. My children, that's the trick...the magic of it all. Your heart is going to beat rapidly, so much so that you'll think it's going to jump out of your chest, many times, when you meet someone. You're going to kiss someone, feel their arms around you, and think this is the ONE! But it's not all about who you love...it's about who loves you...and if they stay...and if you can't push them away...and if there's chemistry...then that just might be the winning combination. Find someone who loves you as much as you love you. If the person you're with doesn't feel that you are the most spectacular human on earth...then why would you want to waste your time? "So, they think you're mediocre" and you're going to get dressed and go out to dinner and spend an evening with this person? I don't think so. Wait until you find that someone who thinks, "the only reason I am on this earth is to share my time with you...to make you happy." When you find that person...you will know love...and when you find it you will realize the 'past' loves of your life really weren't loves at all. I hope both of you find that someone.
When you have children you will know the true meaning of love...love at its best...love at its purest...love in the most powerful way. Even if I try... I cannot put into words the love that comes from holding your own child; knowing that this child, the one who is so tiny and vulnerable...and most often quite ugly at birth...relies on you for sustanance in order to survive. When you hold your child for the first time...the world suddenly stops...and God lets you stand still for a few moments; because God knows...you won't have the pleasure of standing still for many years to come.
That child will rely on you to teach him, or her, to walk...talk...read...dance...laugh...hit a baseball...swim...tie their shoes...drink from a cup...I mean come on.....it's a daunting task to say the least. YOU are their today AND their tomorrow and once that child is placed in your arms there's not much you can do except to accept the task. Having a child is the definition of love.
However, I want you both to know, a child doesn't have to be born from you to be your child...please remember this. You two aren't Don's biological children...but you are definitely his. He has loved you, and nurtured you, and provided for you, for over thirty years and yes...you are his children. As we grow older I ask him on occasion, "what would you do if I died...what would you do about Kyle and Jason?" He hates when I ask that question! "Robin, those kids are as much mine as they are yours," he always replys...of course he adds in the "are you insane...you've lost your mind," comments. So if you have your own (as Jason did), or if you have been blessed with someone elses (as Kyle has been), just remember that there is nothing more important in this short life, that we live, than to know you can make a difference in a child's life....so make it count!
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